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Oct. 8 recap, Oct. 15 homework and questions

Summary of Sunday discussion 10/8
This week, we took some time to process some of the themes of the previous weeks so far.  We continued to explore the process of internalizing the privilege and/or the oppression that we have experienced, as referenced in Step 3:

Step 3: Explore how internalized oppression or privilege may affect you

Internalized oppression or privilege may affect your behavior in cross-class relationships. If an ally is experiencing a confusing conflict with people from a different class background, the ally should first consider whether inter-nalized oppression or privilege might be contributing to the conflict.

We discussed the interrelated issues of pride, shame and judgment.  How do we build a "realistic" pride based on confidence in ourselves, with humility and love toward others, rather than a "false" pride based on comparisons and privilege? How do we overcome the shame around asking for help, and sometimes around offering help, so that we can assist one another through mutually beneficial allyship relationships without imposing our "free advice" on others? How can we let go of judgment, realizing that it usually just hurts our relationships or reflects insecurities or guilty feelings of our own?

None of these are easy questions to answer, or even possible to fully answer. But we ended with the idea that maybe a simple yardstick is to try to presume that others around us are doing the best they can with what they've got, and it will make our lives richer and more positive to assume so.

Reading reflection for the coming week 10/15
This coming week John Little will be facilitating our conversation, as I will be out of town. This next chapter represents a shift from focusing on our own internal work preparing to be allies (educating ourselves and exploring our own experiences of privilege and/or oppression) to building relationships and supporting them well.

A few ideas to ponder:

1) Have you had bridge people in your life who have helped you connect to folks from different backgrounds than yourself? Or are you a bridge people with deep connections in multiple "worlds?" What is that experience like?

2) As you enter into an allyship relationship, whether defined that way or not, what are some things you would want from your allies to make it a safe and productive relationship for you? What do you want your allies to know about you or do for you? As you think about these expectations, think about where they come from. Are they healthy expectations that will promote a fair and respectful relationship for all involved?

Best wishes to all this week, and I will be with you in spirit while I'm in New York this weekend,

Annaka